Sightseeing & Observing

The things we get to do in and for this class are priceless and brings me much joy.  A couple of weeks ago we went on a "field trip" to the restaurant, then we went to the cemetery, and after that we got to read an incredible book in the Bible called Joel and we got to paint.  Amazing.  Now, we had an assignment to people watch and for me that was enjoyable.  I have always loved to sit on a park bench and watch the different people pass me by. Some walking, some running, some skateboarding and biking.    I cannot really say that I know what their personality is or their likes or dis-likes but I saw what they wore, how they walked, and facial expressions.  It was an interesting time to watch those who did not know they were being watched.
     Furthermore, "This Blessed House,"  was a really good story.  I definitely liked how Twinkle asked her husband questions about being "born again" and about religion in general.  Twinkle seems to be aware and open to other religions but her husband seems annoyed and aggravated by her putting all of the trinkets on the fire place mantel.  Throughout the story she is "content yet curious."  She is trying to find the next treasure, always searching.  Moreover, all together I loved how he was learning her.  His own wife, he was finding out all of these pet-peeves and quirky things about her wondering why she is like that because they didn't have very long together before they got married.  Started to make me think or marriages that I know and or mine that I will be in one day.  It showed me how not to be and how God is and has to be the center of my life to have a solid foundation of a marriage.                  

Just A Brushing Image

     Now that we have painted in class I feel like I want to do it now with every book I read.  I better get to buying all of my serious supplies. 
     But on a serious note, I enjoyed every second of that experience and privilege.  Painting has been, lately, something I love to do that relaxes me and soothes my mind and calms my heart.  It is a wonderful way that I, Aubrey, can put all that is on my path and in my busy thoughts of things to do, aside and take time to reflect.  Sometimes, it is my way of speaking to the Lord my Savior and King.  I know that within painting, I am, in just one aspect of many, glorifying the Lord and giving Him all the praise.
     The involvement that I had with painting a verse in Joel was priceless.  Even though I was not in my own home, doing it under candle light and music, it was the perfect time and place.
      I painted on Joel 2:22-23, "Do not fear, O land, rejoice and be glad, For the LORD has done great things. Do not fear, beasts of the field, For the pastures of the wilderness have turned green, For the tree has borne its fruit, The fig tree and the vine have yielded in full. So rejoice, O sons of Zion, And be glad in the LORD your God."  This verse just really helped me in the chapter I am in now and have been for the past couple of months and I knew that this would be a wise decision to make it my painting.  The Lord tells us, as His children, to not be afraid 365 times in the bible.  This verse showed me that no matter what happens in my life, I have everything to be joyful and glad about.  That for everything the Lord has put in the will of my life has gone through His hands first.  I am glad in Him.  That my tree will bear great and mighty fruit and it will be because the plans He has for me.  For He is most gloried in us when we are am most satisfied in Him, -John Piper-.      

Canvas of Joel

Here is my painting of Joel that I did in class on September 23rd.  It was a wonderful experience and I feel like I could do this now with a lot of my readings that I do not only for this class but with other inspiring books that I have read.  Thank you for this time and awesome event.

Tangible

Rereading Joel was more special than it was the first time around.  Other parts of the book stood out more to me such as, “The Lord utters Hi voice before His army; surely His camp is very great, for strong is he who carries out His word The day of the Lord is indeed great and very awesome, and who can endure it? ‘Yet even now,’ declares the Lord, ‘return to Me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning; and rend your heart and not your garments’ now return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil.”  Man, this section of the book just really grabbed my heart another time.  I usually take my time reading things and will pause in between thoughts so I am able to truly grasp what I am reading.  So I am also able to comprehend and understand the true context that this book was written.

Furthermore, I thoroughly enjoyed the time we had in class yesterday.  The discussion my table had was deep and full of meaning.  I left the class still contemplating and pondering through what we had just talked about.  Moreover, I am so glad we had the pleasure of being able to step outside for a little while and read parts of Joel that had great depth to us as individuals.  Reading out loud gives me the chance to feel like it is real.  It comes off the page and surrounds me.  The words become real and tangible.  Every time the Lord speaks and I am reading aloud it is like He is right here and speaking directly to just me.  The animals were not around but doing this exercise was enjoyable and I also read my other books in nature as we did for part of class yesterday.

I look forward to painting tomorrow and being able to experience another way of interpreting the book of Joel.      

           

To Those We Know, To Those Who We Do Not Know!

     Where must I begin?  I have not read the Old Testament book of Joel in a long while and reading it a few times through was truly strengthening and powerful.  I could seriously go on for hours about all of my thoughts about this mighty book that Joel wrote long ago.  But as of right now I will only say a few comments and I look forward to speaking about it in class tomorrow.
     The theme of this book is the day of the Lords coming.  Joel speaks on foreboding and warning but yet filled with hope.  Our Father wants to love and bless all those who trust in Him.  On the day of judgment, God will judge the unrighteousness and all accounts will be settled.
     The beginning of this book Joel speaks of locusts, a terrible plaque, that comes and devours all crops from the land.  This is a just a preview of the coming judgment of God.  For because of this plaque, Joel asks all people to turn from their sin and turn to God.  God is merciful and kind.  In the midst of the judgment and need of repentance, there is affirmation of the promises of God.  "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved," Joel 2:32.
     In verse 3:14 it says, "Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision."  I took this verse and think that there are people all around us, work, school even church who do not know the day of the Lord.  They will face judgment, but do you know if they have received God's forgiveness?  As His disciples, warriors of the Word of God, we are called to understand the severity of God's final judgment and bring God's offer of hope to all of those we know.  To all of those we do not know.       
    

Observed

     The class discussion yesterday was, in my opinion, a great illustration.  I mean, the building of the house of cards was good in a sense that it was a visible way to be able to understand the concept that C.S. Lewis was trying to convey in his book.  Also being able to work with friends was wonderful because it was team work and trying to figure out together how to make a strong foundation with the materials we were given.  Yet it was an illustration to show that the only "material" we need to build a solid, stable foundation is our Christ and Savior.  Without Him, everything in life that surrounds me; my positive attitude, my laughter, my love for people, my desires and passions, my feelings and emotions would just crash and burn.
     In my group on Tuesday, we had a truly meaningful conversation about all of our thoughts on a few of the quotes in the book and it was intriguing to really understand the way my classmates and friends see and feel grief.  Something that I said was that our lives are really like a house that is made out of cards.  It is fragile and could be taken away as quick as a heart beat.  That is why i truly wake up in the mornings and also through out the day saying, "Okay Father.  What do you want me to do while I am right here?"  I want and need to make the most of the time I have on this planet, because I have a lot to catch up on.  The Lord knew me way before He created me and so I want to spend the time I have here to get to know who my Lord is and to live for Him.  This life will be gone soon and on that Judgment day I really want the Lord to say to me, "well done my good and faithful servant."
     Our house of cards fell down a few times and it kind of got frustrating, yet I saw it as an adventure.  When something falls down in our lives, that God allows, it isn't always death but heartbreaks, moving away, the challenges in day-to-day life, seeming like are prayers aren't getting answered.  But at those times, is when we get to become stronger, wiser, more full of our God.  We get to build something again that has a stronger foundation than before and it can only become better if we allow it to.
     I am going to miss this book.  But I learned a lot from it and I appreciate who C.S. Lewis is as a man of God and a passionate, gifted writer.             

Something Heavenly

     I parked across the street from the cemetery.  I crossed the street to one of the many entrances into the gated land.  I walked slowly, without pattern.  Spoke no words.  Tears filled my eyes and streamed down my face.  Gazed upon the stones with words of men and woman who have passed on and dates of their existence.
     I wanted to sit against a tree for a long period of time to read and meditate but I felt as though there was so much more to see and feel while being there.  I sat for a little while, got up and read as I walked.  I did not fumble over my feet nor did I trip.  I walked smoothly along the given path and even went on an adventure off the road.  While the tears were sliding down my face, the only thoughts I had were about the man I had lost almost a year ago come October.  He was a wonderful man.  I will call him M.  M. and I were as close as a father and his daughter.  He was my second dad.  We talked for a couple hours each day that went by for three years.  Then, one day, an unexpected tragedy happened.  He was killed.  I do not know how much more I can write about this hard thing that happened because I am starting to not be able to see the keys.  But M. is with his Father, his Creator, in a marvelous place.  Heaven.  I will see him again one day.  I look forward to that day because I miss him so much it hurts.
     C.S. Lewis writes, "Feelings, and feelings, and feelings.  Let me try thinking instead.  From the rational point of view, what new factor does H.'s death introduced into the problem of the universe?  What grounds has it given me for doubting all that I believe?  I knew already that these things, and worse, happened daily...We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accepted it...Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not in imagination (Pgs 36,37).  I know exactly what he means.  I feel it everyday.  When it happened I couldn't breath.  It was as if something surreal was happening, but not to me, not in my life.  For so long after, I kept saying ,"Come back," (Pg 41).  But I know that this something did not just go over my Father's head.  I had to accept that He allowed it to happen.
     M. had a son named Mark, he was a dear, dear friend of mine for a long time.  When his father died I said over and over, "If only I could bear it, or the worst of it, or any of it, instead of her [him]," (Pg 44).  That passage goes on to say that we never know how heavy that burden is until we are held close to the real possibility, then that is when we discover how seriously we had meant it.  Oh man did I mean it with all of me.  I wanted to take it all from him.  The grief and pain.
     "It was allowed to One, we are told, and I find I can now believe again, that He has done vicariously whatever can be so done.  He replies to our babble, 'You cannot and you dare not.  I could and dared," (Pg 44).
     As much as I truly wanted to take it all, I couldn't.  But He did.  And I trust that He has Mark in his gentle, loving, caring arms and He is taking care of him. 
My Creator could and He did.          
      

Solemn

     I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.
    There were more photos that I took while being at the cemetery but I didn't put them on here because it looked a little too cluttered.  Anyways, what I noticed on a lot of the tombstones they read, "At Rest," like the one to the right of this page, "Gone But Not Forgotten," to the left.  I was able to walk around, take time to listen to the nothingness and meditate on what was swaying in my heart.  It was a hard time, yet I was able to have some closure on a situation that has taken me and still is continuing to take me some time to be okay.  I am  glad we had this field trip as part of our homework.  It was a solemn experience.  

A New Way...And I Like It.

       The field trip to Tuscana was an adventurous one.  I had the privilege of sitting with four wonderful people; Alicia, Shantel, Casey and Adam.  After getting through all the horrendous food lines in the restaurant and filing up some drinks, we sat down at a nice round table and started our meaningful discussion on literature.
       Alicia brought lyrics to a creative song to the table by a woman named HOPE. Shantel brought the dialogues that we have done in class, Casey used a poem in the literature book, Adam brought his favorite script from class called "Sure Thing," and I, last but not least brought a book called "Don't Waste Your Life," by John Piper.  I believe the best part about this time together was how we all truly put our own thoughts, ideas, opinions and views out there for us to hear and listen to with opens minds.  We each had something to contribute to everyone's own literature and felt comfortable to speak.
       Having this time together as a class and even as a team really helped me understand the different ways literature can be looked at, read, sung, painted, and watched.  It's so interesting to see how the mind works in other people and how drastically different or even how very similar some ones ideas are compared to your own.  I am enjoying this class thus far because I feel as if I am learning a new way of something that I have never wanted to be interested in, yet now, a little each day its becoming more of something I want with out realizing it.  Like the introduction paper that Professor Corrigan wrote, "Literature Is a Thing You Do As a Part of Life," it is now sneaking into my daily life and I am starting to notice...and I like it.
           

Blossoming Thoughts

      Reminiscing on the past few classes that we have had, I cannot believe we are getting into our fourth Literature class already.  This is very exciting and we are about to start on a book by C.S. Lewis that is going to change my thinking and even maybe yourself in some way or another.
      I have actually started reading it already because I could not resist myself.  I mean, having a C.S. Lewis book in possession and not opening it up yet to read all of his genius, poetic literature jump off the page and into my mind just, in some way, felt wrong of me.  So, I decided to dive in deep.
      I am glad I did.  I am thoughtless.  After reading the first couple chapters in, "A Grief Observed," I feel saddened, yet confused, and then awakened to new feelings.  My best friend's father died in October of last fall and it was as if my own father had died.  As the days passed, I felt him slipping out of my mind.  I felt like I could no longer see what he looked like exactly in my mind anymore.  The way his mouth moved when he smiled or the way he would talk with me when I would see him for the first time in a while.  I feel like it is all gone.  I miss him so much it hurts.  And I wish I could have all the images of him again in my mind right when I want them.  But yet in some way, when God knows I need those memories most, He gives them to me and I can smile at him and know that it is ok (Pg 19,20).
     The way C.S. Lewis writes is sometimes, for me, hard to understand.  Reading this book challenges my thoughts and the way I meditate on his words.  Truthfully, the reason why I am not writing more on this subject or on these chapters right now is merely because I do not know how yet.  I know how I think and feel on the inside, but I do not know how to even articulate those ideas into sentences.
      "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.  I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.  The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning.  I keep on swallowing," (Chpt 1, Pg 3).  Even almost a year later, I feel this way.             
    

A little Spice of Everything

     In the beginning when we read over, "Literature Is a Thing You Do as Part of Life,"  I was intrigued by the meaning of this phrase.  Immediately I wanted to know more.  I have always been that person who thought literature was only reading poetry and boring, eye dropping novels.  I could never get into it nor truly appreciate what it was at its core.  But after the first day of class and thereafter I have been excited and looking forward to learning all that I can and in a way that I have never learned before.
     I have thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of the class thus far.  The dialogue we have done as a team through listening to the song of Frankie and Johnny and being able to listen to it a second time and actually sing a long to it all together, to Betty and Bill and their intensive do overs.  Because of this class I think that it is transforming the way I think of literature.  I know that at the end of the semester I will have appreciated everything that we did and will be able to leave the class loving literature for what it is.      Moreover, today in class we read, "What Do We Talk about When We Talk about Love," and there were parts in that passage that I felt like I was in it, like I was standing in the same room they were.  If I wanted to feel that way, I am not sure because the conversation was a bit intense.  Love is always a conversation that starts up, it's something a lot of humans like to talk about.  In this particular scene a man that goes by the name of Mel is kind of searching out what love really is to him and his thoughts on it.  I can see what his feelings are on the matter and I think it is so sad how our society views love.  But the interaction we had with the text was really enticing and engaging.  It made me want to uncover and connect the different dots of where they came from and what they meant. 
    In conclusion, I look forward to reading more and learning from other peoples thoughts within the class.  The journey we are on in this class has only just begun!