Dancing and Electricity

     1, 2, 3, 4...so on and so forth.  I really enjoyed reading paper.  I might be a little confused on to why there are numbers.  I mean it seems to me that it separates thoughts and different subjects, but then some numbers may have something to do with another.
     There were a few lines or passages that really made me smile or thought were cute and intriguing.  In the first passage, number 1 it talks about, in lines 7-14, a schoolgirl.  I paints a marvelous picture of her in my head.  I can visualize her "hair flying" while walking on the "negotiating sidewalk."  I saw the book with the pages bent frontward in her backpack as the writer described, full of all kinds of illustration about the planet she lived on.  Because of this description of her looks and what she reads I feel as though I am able to decipher a little bit of her personality.
     Furthermore, skip to passage 8.  Line 5, "It turns out they are electricity having sex in an infinite variety of permutations."  I know that this line is pretty vivid and sensual but yet is seriously right.  Actually seeing it in this way makes me understand the way electricity looks while it is being made.  That line is one of my favorites in the fact that it brings electricity into human understanding.
     Moreover, in passage 9, bottom last 5 lines it describes wheeling constellations as a dance with three graces.  "They made of it a figure of something elegant or lovely..."  I can understand how the three graces of dance can illiterate and resemble wheeling constellations because of how it is described.  Lines in this paper truly help, I think, the reader really understand what is being talked about and gives them a great visual to what they are portraying.               

Darkness

     "Sonny's Blues," so far, has been a absolutely wonderful story.  Sad and I particularly do not like sad stories.  But there are several areas in the book that I would love to write about but the very beginning struck me in a very deep way.  One aspect that I loved was how James Baldwin started off the story.  "I read about in the paper, in the subway, on my way to work.  I read it and I couldn't believe it, and I read it again.  Then perhaps I just stared at it, at the newsprint spelling out his name, spelling out the story.  I stared at it in the swinging lights of the subway car, and in the faces and bodies of the people, and in my own face, trapped in the darkness which roared outside" (Page 384).
     This whole passage, I had to re-read a few times.  Baldwin portrays where he is at, how he is feeling about what he is reading and describing, without fail and vividly, everything in him.  I felt as though I was there.  He picked me up off the couch and placed me on that subway with him, and I sat with him in the darkness.  He was in denial, he didn't want what he was reading to be true and kept hoping, in someway, it was not true.  He saw himself on that page he was reading.
     It goes onto the second page and reveals who he was referring to while reading the newsprint.  It was his brother.  He had been caught "peddling and using heroin."  He knows his brother was wild but he never thought that Sonny was crazy.
     The way the classroom was displayed and listening to the students and the way he thinks of them.  That they might all be "popping off needles," he is afraid for them.  Again, he shows that he sees himself.  He grew up the same way they did, the same way his brother did.
     They live in such darkness.  I have seen such darkness through a friend.  This story really pierces the heart.  It is as though I am feeling this story as it could be my friends and I am reliving what happened.              

Team Time

     This week our Mid-Semester portfolio was due.  I tried to answer all of the questions to the best of my knowledge and turned it in.  This portfolio strongly helped me to recognize the good work I have done, the work that I need to improve on and how I can grow in the weeks to come.  I also noticed that I obviously did not know exactly what Professor Corrigan was talking about when he mentioned "risk-taking." Now, I am going to try and apply that phrase to some of my posts in the not distant future.
     Moreover, something else that I loved about this portfolio was how we had to pick three key blogs that we felt were adequate enough to be one of the best.  Picking was not so hard, but I enjoyed going back through all of the posts I have written and re-read them.  I noticed growth in my writings and also noticed where I didn't really care for the topic I was supposed to be writing on.  Reflecting is one of the best ways to evaluate what I have learned and hope to continue to learn for the course of this semester.
     Furthermore, after we discussed in our groups our portfolios and what we had learned from that activity, we were summoned to go outside, pick a spot and finish reading our short stories together.  Last Thursday Seth and Sterling read first.  Their stories were both different and well written.  It was nice to sit outside and just be able to relax and listen to someone's masterpiece.  This week, after Casey being gone last week, was back and read her story, along with Adam and I.  My story was a bit long so I got cut off at the end so I had to summarize it up in a jiffy, which I totally did not mind.  Adam's short story was heart felt and true.  Casey's story was fiction but realistic and funny.  I enjoyed each and every one of my team members and their uniqueness.  This time together was both educational, in its own sense and pleasing.            
         
    
     
 

Short Story: Awaiting An Ending

He looked up from dribbling the ball; sweat dripping from his face onto the floor.  It was as if the gym went silent when she came in and all you could hear was his heart beating and her feet walking. He watched her as she walked in, gazing at her very existence.  The ball slipped from his grasp and his breathing almost stopped. He was thinking, “Who is this woman that just took my breath away? She is beautiful.”  She looked at him shyly and smiled while she tucked her hair behind her ear, but turned back to her friends.  She was wearing a short jean skirt, a tank top and sandals.  Her hair was long and shiny; it swooped across her face oh so perfectly.  When he took a deep breath in he could almost smell her beauty.  She was wearing Burberry Britton perfume.  He woke from his dream-like state upon hearing his friends yelling, and got back in the game, but continually glanced back to make sure she was still watching.

His name was Mathew and hers Danielle.  It was Danielle’s third time visiting Wheaton College and her friends that attended there. After the basketball game ended everyone went out to a local coffee shop called Common Grounds.  Mathew asked his friends, “Hey, do you know if that new girl is going to come out with us?”  His friends replied by saying that they didn’t know, but he should go and find out or he would never know.  Mathew rarely went out with these friends, but this one night, Danielle, without knowing it, persuaded him to go.   He stepped out of the car hoping she was going to be there.  Heart racing and palms sweating, he wondered, “why do I feel this way? There is just something about her, man.” Nervous of the unknown, he opened the door and there she sat at a table with her friends smiling and laughing more beautifully than he had ever seen before. 

They were playing a game called White Elephant, Danielle lost, and her consequence was to write her name standing up with her butt.  Mathew positioned himself perfectly behind his friend so he could watch her without her noticing. She did notice and would smirk at him every once in a while. 

The whole weekend that Danielle was there was full of sport activities and the hot sun.  They played basketball and Mathew and her got placed on the same team.  They played well together.  At the end they played one on one and although he let her win, he thought her to be good competition. 

The next day was football and all they did was laugh.  They got some time to talk and get to know each other, but it wasn’t enough.  Danielle had to leave on Sunday, and she didn’t want to go.  She was attracted to him more than she ever thought she could be, and he was attracted to her even more than he had ever expected.  Sunday came around and it was a gloomy day for her and perhaps him but she could never completely tell.  It was in the middle of a softball game when she had to leave.  Danielle went around and hugged all of her friends, and then it was Mathew’s turn.  She gave him a quick one.  “Maybe I’ll see you again one day,” she said with a big smile on her rosy face, “I think I am coming here in the fall, so we’ll see.”  Mathew looked at her with anticipation and excitement; “okay, sounds great!” is all he could muster up at the moment. She walked away with goose bumps up and down her body.  She wanted to turn back around but she couldn’t.  She drove away waving goodbye while passing and let go of the thought of him. 

A month later she was on Myspace, looking at all of her comments and came across one she didn’t recognize.  “You probably don’t remember me, but I am the one who beat you in basketball.  How are you?”  Mathew had written on her wall.  “Hahaha, oh right, of course I remember you.  But it’s too bad that you only beat me by one so there’s nothing to brag about.  I am doing well, good to hear from you,” she said in reply.  That is the first of many more comments that would turn into messages and then formulate into phone calls.  Mathew had been thinking about her ever since they met.  He finally conjured up the courage to write to her. 

Their messages consisted of questions about who they were, their thoughts on different subjects about Christ, what they loved and what made them happy.  Then Mathew asked if he could call her.  She thought ‘Oh my goodness, what do I do?  Of course I want to talk to him on the phone, I want to talk to him all the time.  Do I say yes, do I say maybe?  I’ll say yes, of course’.  Every time he would text message and his full name, Mathew Malachi Broward would stream along the screen, it was all smiles and pleasure that filled her heart.  They would talk on the phone for hours upon hours every night, not getting to bed before 2:00am.  “Turn it to SPIKE TV,” he said, “I love this show.  It’s so stupid I can’t stop laughing.  “Ok, I am right now,” she said, thinking about him for a second and where he was right now, she said, “I love how you are in a whole other state right now, sitting on a couch, watching TV with me over the phone.”  Danielle couldn’t even believe what was happening in her life.  She wouldn’t be able to see what was going to happen at that point, but one day she would feel it. 

He went away for camp that summer for two months.  “I’ll miss you,” he said, “I’ll miss you too.  More.”  “You’re crazy.”  “Crazy about you,” she said.  Letters were written all summer.  Back and forth, back and forth.  They sent one another pictures and Danielle sent him a care package of all his favorite candy and made him a creative card.  She missed him so much that summer, but it only made the day they got to see each other again that much better.

The months of summer flew by.  It was time for her to start her freshman year at Wheaton.  It had been six months since Danielle had last seen Mathew.  She was ready to be with him.   “I am so nervous, I get to see him today,” she said to her roommate.  Her thoughts are going round and round.  “What do I wear…do I hug him, run to him, what is the first thing I should say?  Oh my goodness my heart is beating a million miles an hour, I cannot wait.”  She couldn’t hold it in any longer.  A second later her phone rang; it was him. She picked it up and he told her where to meet him.  She left the room wearing her new dark blue jeans with a navy blue shirt and baby blue dots on it.  Her hair long and flowing, her face lit up like a thousand fireflies in a dark room.  She called him when she was close.  “I don’t see you Mathew, where are you?”  “I can see you.  Wow!”  “Hahaha, stop, Where are you goober,” she said.  “Look to your left, near the bushes, keep going, here I am.”  Mathew and Danielle locked eyes.  He was wearing basketball shorts, a white shirt, with Addidas sandals and socks, and a navy blue baseball hat.  ‘He is the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life,’ she thought. ‘How did I get so blessed?’  He gave her the biggest hug, wrapped her up in his arms and didn’t want to let her go.  They walked to some stairs and just stared at one another.  In shock both could not stop smiling.  There was passion and fervor between them.

Between that time and the next few weeks he wooed her and took her on an adventure scavenger hunt.  “What are these letters?”  She asked him.  “You are going to be on a scavenger hunt all day.  The letters are numbered in the order in which you are supposed to open them.  Start the first one when I walk away.  Have fun and I’ll talk with you soon.”  He kissed her gently on her forehead and walked away.  ‘Oh my goodness, what does it say, what does it say.  Hurry and rip already envelope.’  The letters were tied together with a black shoelace and taped with black duck tape.  There were four letters in which he wrote about what he loved about her, whom he saw her as and who she portrayed; how much she meant to him and why he saw her as being so authentic and caring.  Each letter led her to a spot on campus.  First was to a car with a stuffed basketball hidden behind a tire, next was to a princess crown hidden in the bushes, then to a sword that was outside her dorm window, and last a $25.00 gift card to Cold Stone because he knew how much she loved ice cream.  Each item had meaning.  This is how he asked her to be his girlfriend; officially. 

It was not always this lovey dovey story; all roses and never pricks.  Danielle and Mathew had their hardships; their ups and downs.  She would get hurt when he would yell at her because she cried too much, or told her to shut up sometimes.  He would get frustrated when she would ask him if he really loved her and cared for her as he said he did.  His background was not like hers.  He grew up with his parents divorced at the age of nine and had to make some difficult decisions at such a young age.  He was twenty before he turned sixteen.  Danielle on the other hand grew up in a loving home with her parents.  She always had such great role models to look up to for help and to show her how to love.  He did not, or at least not in the same way she did. Daniele felt as if the reason why he yelled at her or did those things was because of how he grew up.  She loved him with all her heart through those times.  In her mind it was “no matter what.”  It was the same for Mathew she thought.  That was what he thought too.

It was a long day and Danielle and Mathew had gotten into one of their petty disagreements.  It was a month after their one-year anniversary.  She walked in her dorm room door, bawling her eyes out.  She went straight over to her desk, grabbed her wine bottle and went into the bathroom.  This particular wine bottle was not filled with wine though, but with letters.  On their one-year anniversary he made her a bottle with hand written letters in it about all different things.  He told her she could not open it till their wedding day.  She tried anyway.  Upon opening the cap, she could retrieve only one letter that stood the length of the bottle.  She stuck her finger in and pulled it out.  Opening it up, a slip of paper fell out.  It was the receipt to her engagement ring.  She never told him she opened it, and she never would tell him. 

Months went by leading up to Mathew’s graduation and his leaving for the job he got in Colorado as a youth pastor. He left ten days after graduation.  Danielle was excited yet saddened by him being gone, but she truly wanted to support him in all he was going to do.  They knew they would be a part for a year and a half before she graduated from college and that it was going to be a hard long distance relationship, but they seemed ready.  They wanted to get married after she was done with school. Around August of the next semester they began to experience a rough patch that lasted for a couple of months.  This was the start of a major turning point for Danielle and Mathew.  In December they would break up after having been together for three years.

The last time they would talk was the night they broke up.  “Are you okay?” Mathew asked her.  “Yeah, I will be.  I am stronger than you think Mathew.”  “I never thought you weren’t strong.”  Surprisingly, Danielle was not crying.  “ Well Mathew, I guess I’ll talk with you later.”  “Yeah, talk with you later.”  She was now holding back the sobs that were to come, “I’ll miss you, you know,” she said tenderly, “I’ll miss you,” Mathew said in reply.  “Good bye Mathew.”  Danielle hung up the phone before he could get in another word.  It was hard.  ‘It doesn’t feel real,’ Danielle said to herself.  ‘Did that really just happen?’ Mathew said to himself.  ‘Did we do the right thing Lord?’  They both said to themselves.  The Lord confirmed with a yes.  They knew that the Lord had a good plan.  They were no longer together.  It was over.  Danielle no longer knew how he was doing; he no longer knew how she was doing.  But they had peace in knowing that God knew.

Months and months would go by. No word from Mathew, no word from Danielle.  Then one day God started showing Danielle signs of what’s to come.  Signs only she could understand and see.  God created her inner most being.  These signs were consistent and no coincidence.  Danielle started to believe in them more and more each day that passed.  But then she wondered why it was so much harder to believe than it was easy to doubt. 

Mathew moved to North Carolina in the span of them being a part.  She did not hear from him even after all of the signs the Lord had given her.  Nor did he hear from her.  The next thing she knew was that God lead her to North Carolina, the same city he lived in. 

Anyone can only imagine what God had in store for Mathew and Danielle.  Are they together again or still a part? 

Their story is still awaiting an ending.  God only knows.       

         

Desperate For Knowledge

     I am contemplating on what to write my short story on, but let me forewarn you, I am not a writer, let alone know how to write short stories.  I already know this will be a very difficult assignment for me so I guess we will see how it goes. 
     In addition, I have been sitting here wondering what to even do this post about.  I have been thinking what topics and stories we have been reading or read last week.  I just cannot come up with anything to say. 
     I did re-read, "This Blessed House."  I did not really fully understand it the first time I read it, now, still don't.  I came to realize a few more aspects of the story that I did not know before but I still believe that it is a bit strange.  I see their marriage as being sad and a bit unhappy.  Bitter and aggravated.  Every day that passes them by, within these pages, I feel as though Sanj is frustrated with Twinkle and never is at a point of happiness or satisfaction.  But I do see why he can get frustrated with her because she is always moving towards something, whether it is drastically different or something small, it is always changing.  She is curious about everything and that bothers him.
     I do not think that I could ever be involved in a arranged marriage.  Like it said on page 1072, "He did not know if he loved her."  That is so sad.  There are some people who strongly think that love can grow on you and one day it will come.  But that is just not me.  I do not want my marriage to be like this one.
    I do wonder though.  What is this story about?  Does anyone know?  What is the point to it and or does it have a deep meaning that I am supposed to get.  All I know is that I appreciate the readings for this class because I am desperate for gaining knowledge in this subject, and in the end help me in other areas as well.